Student Bodies
by Kat Astrophy
Summary: Relena's had a rough day... and decides to take it out on her lunch table at Gundam High. Can ANYTHING cheer her up?


Gundam High: Student Bodies

Gundam High: 

Student Bodies 

(~Another lunchtime fic, based on the two wildest tables of 2000) 

Relena poured low-fat, low-cal Italian dressing on her salad, placed the lid back on, and shook it up to mix everything around. "Mr. Borrsich," she said stiffly, tearing the lid back off and stabbing her fork into an unfortunate tomato wedge, "can kiss my ass. I can't believe I failed that test because I didn't do everything on the calculator, and I did some by hand. What a freak! I bet he'd been fucking his precious wrestling team all season, and now that he ain't getting any it's making him mad." 

"There, there," Dorothy cooed, tugging gently on her hair, "I'll kill him for you." 

"Don't say that," Quatre hissed, rolling his eyes, "They'll arrest you!" Duo snorted. Heero was still glaring at Relena. 

"I'm on the wrestling team." he said stiffly. Relena continued eating, not looking up from her food. 

"Oh, really? So, how is he in bed, hm?" Heero kicked at her, but she pulled her legs out of the way. "I heard he's a pool man during the summer. I hope he dies of sunpoisoning." 

"Don't look now, Rena, but... speak of the devil..." Dory whispered. A short, bald man with disgustingly bright blue eyes and a red face came sauntering up behind Relena. He put his hand on her shoulder. 

"Lawsuit." Relena muttered, not looking up. He took his hand away. 

"How good to see you, Relena! Do your homework for today?" Mr. Borrsich asked. 

"Yes." 

"Too bad about that test, huh? You should have done it all on the calculator! I guess you'll know better next time, huh?" he laughed. Relena sneered at her lunch. 

"Eat rats and die." 

"What was that?" 

"I said," Relena smiled sweetly, "I guess you're right." Mr. Borrsich nodded. 

"Very good." 

"Go suck yourself," she muttered. 

"Huh?" 

"I said, perhaps talk to someone else. I'm going over what I did wrong on the test with Dorothy," she said. 

"Wonderful!" He dropped his hand on Dorothy's shoulder, smiling. 

"Lawsuit." Dorothy murmured. He pulled his hand back. 

"You two are such brilliant girls. It's a wonder you don't have boyfriends! And Relena, Miss Student Counsel President! Must be devoting all your time to studies and the student body, eh? Well, don't worry, I'm sure the fine boys at this table would love to love you!" He laughed, a high-pitched, squealing sound, "See you in class! And Heero, see you at practice!" He winked, turned, and strutted off. 

"See you at practice, Heero!" Relena snickered. Heero kicked at her again. 

"So," Dorothy snorted, "Would any of you *FINE* boys love to love us?" She started to laugh. "What a buffoon!" 

"He's so DENSE!" Relena added. Heero rolled his eyes, stood up, and walked away. The remaining teenagers at the table stared after him. 

"Where's he going?" Quatre asked. 

"He's got a free period," Trowa murmured, "Duo's done with classes for today. What a coincidence." 

"I'm done, too," Quatre nodded, "Armsted isn't here, and they couldn't get a sub." 

"I've got a free period," Trowa added. Quatre smiled at him. 

"Wanna go play that game Duo taught us?" Trowa thought for a moment, then nodded. They stood together to go dump their trays. 

Dorothy looked down at the floor, "coughcoughpervertcough..." 

"You're one to talk, Dory," Quatre said sweetly. She smiled at him. 

"Thank you." Relena poked her in the side. 

"Oi... Miss Student Counsel Treasurer... about devoting our time to the student body..." Dorothy turned to look at her. 

"Hmm?" 

"Can *YOU* think of any student bodies that you'd want to devote your time too?" 

"Just you, babe," Dorothy leaned slightly to the side and wrapped an arm around Relena's waist, "Just you." 

"Have fun, girls!" Quatre laughed, linking his arm with Trowa and leading him off to the dorms. Dorothy waved her free hand and smiled. 

"Now that I think of it..." Relena gathered her uneaten garbage, including her mostly uneaten lunch, and threw it all onto her tray, "I simply MUST do some research on the student body for our next council meeting..." she glanced at Dorothy out of the corner of her eye, "But I need some help. Do I have any volunteers?" 

"Ooh, ooh, ooh, ME! Pick ME, Relena-sama!" Dorothy squealed, the high falsetto sounding absurd coming from her mouth. Relena grinned. 

"Dorothy it is," she grabbed her tray and stood up, "and dress appropriately." 

"As in...?" 

"Up to you, but no little blue dresses," Relena reached out and beeped Dorothy's nose, "I'll see you in my office... Miss Lewinsky..." 

"UGH! Oh, Rena, that was TERRIBLE!" she laughed. 

"Yes, but you know you loved it!" 

"Being compared to HER? Never!" Dorothy grabbed her tray and started towards the garbage cans, "I'll be in your office in five minutes, Relena-sama. I hope you can handle the workload of researching my... I mean, THE... student body." 

Relena just laughed. 


End file.
